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Jokes about 70-year-olds. 1. Wife’s 70 th birthday joke. Funny joke about John’s wife turning 70. John gifted his wife a coffin for her 70 th birthday. When she turned 71, she asked, “What are you gifting me this year?”. John replied, “but you haven’t used the one I gave you last year.”. Prev 1 of 5 Next.Personalised Funny 70th Birthday cards from Moonpig. Make them smile by uploading a photo to their personalised card today. Next day delivery available.Apr 6, 2023 · To say happy birthday to a golfer, you can use golf-themed wishes or puns. Here are a few ideas: 1. “Wishing you a hole-in-one kind of birthday! May your day be filled with birdies and eagles!”. 2. “Happy birthday! May your swings be smooth, putts be accurate, and your scorecard is full of pars and birdies!”. 3. At 70, "getting lucky" means finding your car in the parking lot. I'm not 70, I'm $69.95 plus tax! How do you know when you're 70? You get winded playing chess. They say 70 is the new 50. But try telling that to your knees. You're 70 now. It's time to grow up… your naps! You know you're 70 when you can live without sex but not without glasses.Funny 70th Birthday Cards for Men Woman - Old Monkeys - Happy Birthday Card for Dad Mum Great Grandad Grandpa Nanny Grandma Gran Uncle Auntie, 145mm x 145mm Rude Joke Offensive Humour Greeting Cards ... 'Happy 70th Birthday Oldi' - Hilarious Gift for Dad Age Seventy 70 - Old Age Jokes for Grandpa - Comes with Fun Stickers. 4.6 out of …Over the Hill Survival Kit. This Over The Hill Survival Kit will make a fabulously funny gag gift for older people, as it contains all the things they’ll need to navigate their senior years. From the replacement marbles to the lollipop for when life sucks, the tin also comes with an explanatory card so they know what’s what.Best 50th Birthday Jokes and Sayings. “The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down.” ~ T. S. Eliot. “Cultivate friendships with people much older than yourself. This will make you feel so much younger. “Age is a number and yours is ...50th Birthday One-Liners. The gray hair on your head may start growing, but we can lighten the mood for you with these funny birthday sayings! 50 is a thrifty age! Start saving for retirement and golden age vacations! Happy 50th Birthday, Super(Grandma or Grandpa)! Hey, gramps! You rock our world so have a great 50th birthday!Funny 70th Birthday Wishes for Sister. Life can be very funny at times. I never knew you will make it till this day, because of your illness. ... You keep making me happy and laugh with your jokes. I am very proud of you, dear sister. You keep living a good life. Happy 70th birthday. 36. I want you to ask me for anything today, and it is done ...Good Gift. Henry was sitting at a bar. He was totally depressed. The bartender, serving him a drink, asked what was wrong. “I’ll never understand women” said Henry. “The other night on my birthday, my wife said as my gift, I could do with her what I wanted.” “Wow! That’s quite some gift” said the bartender. “So why are you so ...1. What's the secret to having a smoking hot body as a senior? Cremation. 2. What is a prize old people can win for aging? Atrophy. 3. I used to know a couple who grew fruit trees together. They...Happy 70th birthday auntie! Congratulations on reaching such an amazing milestone and I hope you have a lovely day. Wishing you a very happy 70th birthday aunt. May you enjoy a wonderful day surrounded by friends and family. I love you aunt. Happy birthday and congratulations on your 70th.Happy birthday cards to mom, dad, sister, brother, son, daughter, grandpa, grandpa, husband, wife and so much . Some funny 70th birthday jokes are a joke about a woman's age and her dress size and a joke about a man buying his wife decks of cards for her birthday because the cards contain a lot of diamonds. All cards are 100% free to …So whether you're looking for turning 30 jokes, funny birthday puns for a friend who's turning 30 soon, or just want to laugh at yourself, you've come to the right place. Below, we've compiled a lengthy list of 30th birthday jokes, jokes about getting old(er), and just witty adult jokes. Take a look at the funny jokes we have gathered, and let ...A cat-alog. If you’re going to take a nap at this age, let me know. I don’t want to bury you by accident. What do you say to a bunny on its birthday? Hoppy birthday to …A: Open the fridge, put the giraffe in, and close the fridge. Q: What are the four steps to putting an elephant in the fridge? A: Open the fridge, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, and close the fridge. Q: Today is the lion king’s birthday party. All animals except for one arrive. Beijing still has hundreds of thousands of pigeon keepersHere are some 70th funny birthday card messages: 70 Jan 4, 2023 · How to Write a Funny Birthday Speech. A funny birthday speech is a great way to get the party started. The key is to focus on finding something humorous that resonates with your audience; after all, laughter is contagious! Think of Appropriate Jokes for the Occasion. First, think about what kind of jokes or anecdotes might be appropriate for ... Draw an eye on a ladies’ sanitary pad. Voilá, you can give the 70th Birthday Gift, I'm Not 70, I'm 69+1 Funny 70th Birthday Middle Finger 15oz Coffee Mug, Birthday Gift For Him Or Her. (28) $24.04. FREE shipping. Funny 70th birthday SVG png. Turning 70 birthday svg cut Files, 70 years old svg cut file for cricut. 70th birthday png svg cassette clipart. (6.3k)Pair these funny gifts with your hilarious memes and jokes from above: Funny 30th birthday card; This hilarious mug; 30th birthday crown; 30th birthday sash; 30th birthday stemless wineglass; Any of these make a perfect gift pairing to a funny joke like the ones above. A funny 30th birthday gift is always a good way to celebrate. So don’t forget to vote for these lame puns and tell

You’re like a fine piece of cheese – the older you get, the more you smell, but people still love you. Happy birthday! Don’t worry, [insert age] isn’t so bad. It’s just a little closer to [insert age plus 20]. Happy birthday! You’re like a classic book – everyone still loves you, even if you’re a little outdated.Jul 11, 2017 - Explore Alice Adler's board "70th Birthday Funny Quotes" on Pinterest. See more ideas about 70th birthday, funny quotes, birthday.Happy 21st with 49 Years Experience 70th Funny Birthday Greeting Card. By Jess Harrison. From $2.37. Funny Birthday Greeting Retirement Card Greeting Card. By chrisclaytonart. From $2.37. 70th Birthday Gift - It Took Me 70 Years To Look This Good Essential T-Shirt. By Simeon Dorelus. From $22.81.70th Birthday Shirt Funny Tshirt T-Shirt T Tee Bday Men Women Ladies Gift Present Turning 70 years old Husband Wife 1949 T-rex Tyrannosaurus. (26.6k) $16.48. $32.96 (50% off) 70th Birthday gift for women or men, 70th Birthday Socks, Funny socks with sayings!

I hope it doesn’t smell!”. Her husband sighs and responds “Well, remind me that we need to get you new hearing aids later today.”. “Farting at the nudist colony” joke: A man paid $100,000 to join a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day there a gorgeous woman walks by, and the man immediately gets an erection.With celebration comes great laughs. Celebrate a birthday with our collection of birthday jokes guaranteed to make anyone feel special. …

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